“I like yesterday’s blog,” said Michael Kelley while grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Damn, his ego might end up being as huge as his ass.
I coached the 6am session, and there were but six wonderful people and Thomas in attendance. It appears that the change in weather and the shorter days may be leading people to sleep as late as they possibly can, and some people who shall remain nameless Chad are arriving just as the session is beginning.
I miss Michelle. If I were a drag queen, I might consider going by the name Miss Michelle. I’d put an accent on the last e, though. Ms. Michellé.
A few notes about the 6amers before I discuss my own morning workout…
Burt hates yoga. Thomas has a fear of getting vertical, and I had to have my hands all over him while he attempted to get so while on the rings. In particular, I had to have my hands on his huge Kelley ass. Granted, it’s not as huge as Michael Kelley’s, but whose ass is? John never argues with coaching, and immediately implements suggestions, e.g., placement of hands on bar. Claire is the best dressed 6amer, well, the best dressed woman. I, of course, am the best dressed man.
I attended the 7:15am session, as did Jeff (!), Leah, Nathanael, Johanna, and Brooke.
Dynamic Effort Lower
Low Bar Back Squat
10×2 @ 65% of 1RM, 45-second rest
Unable to do math in my head, I asked Michael Kelley to determine 65% of 235, my current 1RM. Brooke then did math. In her head. Brooke did math in her head. Brooke. Did math. In. Her head. Amazing. Evidently 65% of 235 is 152.75, so I rounded up to 155#. Lifts felt great!
8×1 @ 50% 1RM Dead-lift + Band, rest 30 seconds
Michael Kelley was kind enough to allow me to do deficit dead-lifts with a band last week, so I knew what to expect. I put 175# on the bar, 15# more than last time. Like LBBS, dead-lifts felt solid. I once again used a 4” deficit and a green band. I’m very much enjoying deficit dead-lifts!
25 Power Cleans
25 Back Squats
50 Lateral Hops
25 Front Squats
50, 55, or 60% of 1RM Clean & Jerk, depending on ability.
All those interested in competing should use 60%.
Competing in what, exactly, Michael Kelley? The CrossFit Games? The Carolina Fitness Challenge? The Gay Olympics? Life?
Michael Kelley had written the following on the whiteboard: Level 1 – 50, Level 2 – 55, Level 3 – 60%. What the hell are levels?
As we just established C & J 1RM two weeks ago, I easily remembered the weight: 160#. That’s 110% of my bodyweight, and I think that’s commendable. Michael Kelley does not. More in a moment.
Sixty percent of 160 is 96, so I put 2, 25# plates on the 45# bar for a total of 95#. Last night I had informed Michael Kelley that this was the weight I was going to use, and even stated “Go heavy or go home.” I was actually quite worried that I wasn’t going to be able to successfully complete 25 power cleans with that weight. I shouldn’t have worried.
I had advised the 6amers to have a plan, and to stick with it. I also encouraged them to carefully plan their transitions, e.g., press the bar over your head after the 25th clean so that you don’t have to clean the bar yet again before starting back squats. Just before the 7:15ers began Michael Kelley said, “I suggest that you do everything in reps of 5. It’s much easier to think of doing 5 than it is of doing 25.”
Uhm, this wasn’t my plan, so I didn’t do that. I didn’t, however, truly stick to my own plan.
I determined I would do the following:
Cleans in reps of 5
Back squats in reps of 5
Unbroken lateral bar hops
Front squats in reps of 5
We began, and the cleans felt, well, light. I completed in reps of 10, 10, & 5. Michael Kelley had to remind me to put my butt back, as for some reason I can’t remember to do this on my own. I’d tattoo this on my ass, but that might defeat the purpose, as I’d have to turn around to look at my ass, and then I’d end up spinning around in circles. I’d look mighty cute doing so, though.
I completed back squats as planned, with a 3 to 5 second pause between sets of 5. Lateral bar hops were done unbroken, as they should’ve been.
Front squats felt progressively more difficult. I completed in reps of 9, 6, 4, 3, & 3, with a brief pause between sets.
I completed dead-lifts unbroken. I will admit that even 95# was beginning to feel heavy! I was tempted to stop after 15 and then after 20 reps, but I stuck with it. You know, because I’m so f@cking awesome and all.
I completed in 5:39.
As I was departing, Michael Kelley and I had the following conversation:
PP: I was surprised with how easy that was.
MK: You probably should’ve gone heavier.
PP: But I used sixty percent of clean and Jerk one rep max!
MK: Yes, but we’re comparing two things, your level of fitness and your ability to do Olympic lifting. (He raised one and lowered the other hand, to communicate an imbalance.)
PP: But I’m clean and jerking more than my body weight. I’m 145 pounds and I’m lifting 160. Isn’t that commendable?
MK: You should be lifting heavier. Your technique is preventing you from doing so.
PP: That’s why I need coaching on Olympic lifting, and why I’m going to visit Peter.
You know where this is going, don’t you?
I worked out again this evening. After my own mobility, I grabbed that damn sled.
400m pulling 145# (bodyweight, Burt) forwards and backwards, changing direction every 100m.
This was much more difficult than I thought it was going to be. Ugh. The worst part was meter 101 to 200, as it was uphill. And I was walking backwards. I was walking backwards uphill pulling myself, i.e., my bodyweight.
Strict Toes to Bar
3 x 10 wearing 30# weight vest
3 x 10 wearing 5# ankle weights
I completed all but the last set unbroken, and completed that set in reps of 7 & 3.
Uhm, you knew what I was going to do next, right? I joined the 5:15ers and did the metcon once again. This time I increased the weight by 15 for a total of 110#. My only goal was to complete in less than 8 minutes.
I completed the cleans in reps of 5 — and remembered to put my butt back! I completed the back squats in reps of 5, 5, 5, 6, & 4. Lateral bar hops were once again done unbroken. Front squats felt much heavier, and I completed in reps of 8, 7, 5, & 5. I didn’t, however, keep the bar on my back, and dropped it to the floor after sets of 8 and 7 reps; thus, I cleaned the bar an additional 2 times. I was done for the day when dead-lifts began, and was only able to complete in reps of 5.
I did complete the metcon in 7:31 — so I achieved my goal!
As I was leaving, Ines asked why a recent blog was password protected. I told her it was because the content was of a personal nature, and that gay porn was discussed. She said, “My roommate is gay, so I’m okay with that.” I replied, “My best friend is gay, and I think his twin brother might be as well.” We laughed and laughed and laughed!
Jeff and I had dinner with Nicole and Matthew. Matthew might be my new BFF.