While driving on my way to pick up Luke from daycare yesterday evening, I learned that there is a lottery worth $253M. I thought, “What would I do if I won the lottery? First, I’d pay off the mortgage. I wouldn’t buy a new car, because I truly enjoy the Golf TDI. I know what I’d do! I’d quit my job, open a CrossFit, and spend all day coaching and teaching coaches how to coach.”
Uhm, I’d win the lottery and open a CrossFit? What the hell am I waiting for? Oh, that’s right: I’m waiting to win the lottery.
There was a very full house today. That’s all that I will say.
After warming up, we did weighted box jumps. I used 15, 20, and then 30# dumbbells and jumped 20 and 24”. Kinda fun, but nothing to write home about.
I held dumbbells in my hands and jumped on a box.
See what I mean?
Today was our first Dynamic Effort Day.
Speed Squats (to 12″ Box)
12×2 @ 60% 1RM, rest 30-45 seconds
I teamed with Alex and Burt, as we were lifting the same (Burt) or close to the same (Alex) weight. I lifted 145#, coincidentally my bodyweight and 60% of my 1RM of 240#. I thought this was going to be much more difficult than it actually was. It was nice to do something different for a change of pace. It was also enjoyable working with Alex and Burt, although it appears that we were one of the slowest groups. We were on our ninth or tenth round when Michael Kelley was already demonstrating speed dead-lifts. I felt rushed. Have I mentioned this yet?
8×1 @ 50% 1RM + band tension, rest 30 seconds
I lifted 160# and used a green band. I enjoyed speed dead-lifts, but did not enjoy having to wait 30 seconds between lifts. As I felt rushed anyhow, I didn’t rest much longer than 10 seconds between lifts. Did I already mention that I was feeling rushed?
5 Front Squats, 60% 1RM
10 Kettle Bell Swings
20 Lateral Hops
As I was one of the last to finish speed dead-lifts, all of the heavier KBs – except the 70# – had already been claimed. I was just about ready to go the hell home, and in this particular case, this was indeed a true story. Michael Kelley said, “You can use the 70 pound kettle bell. You’ve used it before.” I replied, “I’m not going to do that many American swings with a 70 pound kettle bell.” “You’ve done 70 pound American swings before, Paul,” Michael Kelley replied. What a douche bag. He was correct, but a douche bag nonetheless. I made sure to tell him so.
Uhm, more cleans? I settled on 50 instead of 60% of front squat 1RM, i.e., 110 instead of 132#. Given that my front squat 1RM is pretty close to back squat weight, I’m okay with that, particularly since I knew I was going to have to swing that damn 70# kettle bell.
I set no goals. Why? Because I was feeling quite de-motivated, and I just wanted to be done with it all. I’m allowed an off day every now and again, and this morning was most certainly an off day.
I completed all rounds of front squats and lateral hops and rounds 1 through 4 of kettle bell swings (surprisingly) unbroken. I had to break the last round of swings into reps of 6 & 4.
Okay, perhaps I’m making it out to be worse than it actually was. I’m allowed to do that on occasion as well. In fact, I was delighted that Michael Kelley said, “Good, Paul!” when I was doing American kettle bell swings. During the third or fourth round I made eye contact with him and said, “Seventy pounds is heavy.” He surprised me when he replied, “And you’re strong.” That was very nice of you to say, Michael Kelley, and I obesiate it. I mean I appreciate it.
I completed in 6:23. Not bad, but not very good.
I then attempted to complete 5 rounds of 10 unbroken toes to bar. I say attempted to because, for whatever reason, I completed 9 & 1 the very last round. I was pausing briefly between rounds to provide coaching for Lauren and John who were attempting to string together toes to bar. Nice work, both of you! I said, “I should coach this shit.” And I meant it. Maybe I should enter the lottery. Or just use some of my savings to open my own CrossFit.
This should have dawned on me earlier, but it was only after Lauren pointed it out that I realized that I’m no longer kipping when I do toes to bar. I’ve been consciously attempting to stop right after my feet pass vertical, and it appears that I’ve been successful in doing so.
I’m pretty damn spectacular, if I say so myself. Wait, I just did.
As I was leaving, I said to Michael Kelley, “In this particular instance, what I’m about to say is true: We need more kettle bells.”
This evening I pulled that damn sled. I pulled it real good. I warmed up with a 500m row in 1:51. I then put 90# on the sled and pulled it 400m. That was grueling. I rowed another 500m in 1:44. I put 70# on the sled and pulled it 400m walking backwards. That was even more grueling.
I finished the day by doing 25 GHD assisted glute ham raises, using a green band around my neck. I can’t even begin to explain.
I’m looking forward to coaching the first ever 8am session tomorrow morning!