I arrived early this morning to allow extra time for mobility. I like people, I really do. Not as much as I like most dogs, but I like people. I wish more people were more like dogs, i.e., loyal, trustworthy, and affectionate.
What I particularly don’t like about people is when they overuse the word “like”. It drives me absolutely insane. I’m not mentioning any names.
I removed myself from the cacophony of likes and continued working on mobility near the speaker so as to like drown out like the like sounds. It was as if a weight were lifted from my shoulders. Notice I didn’t state “It was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders.”
There was a full house today; thus, I offered to share a rack with Lauren. She was getting ready to do so, but stated she’d feel more comfortable working out with a far less strong gay man someone lifting similar weights, so she partnered with Thomas. I had the rack to myself, just the way I like it.
Low Bar Back Squats
Work up to set of 5 reps heavier than last week
The only reason I attended this morning’s session was to do LBBS, as I didn’t have an opportunity to do so last week. I felt very strong this morning, and lifted sets of 5 reps @ 160, 170, & 175# (a little more than 70% of 1RM) with relative ease. I was distracted during the last set, as
The Coach Michael Kelley was wildly waving his left arm. I thought The Coach Michael Kelley was masturbating trying to get my attention, but he was like only like working on his like own like mobility issues.
Partner Glute-Ham Raises
3 x 8
I really wanted to work with Alex, because he’s my favorite. He chose to work with Claire instead. Since Claire gave me a muffin, I chose not to be mad at her. I partnered with Thomas, who became obsessed with a black piece of cloth on the seat of my shorts. Huh? During my first set, he kept asking
The Coach Michael Kelley to remove “it”, and The Coach Michael Kelley kept saying that the mats were torn. Huh? It appears that there was indeed a piece of cloth on the seat of my pants, and the only person Thomas thought would be comfortable removing it was The Coach Michael Kelley. Huh? Thomas said, “His ass was in my face the whole time.” Uhm, Thomas, I turn my head to the side when you do your glute-ham raises. I suggest you do the same. And keep your midline tight.
I honestly had no intention of doing the conditioning this morning, but I knew that if I left early that
The Coach Michael Kelley would ask why. And I didn’t want to talk to him, so I stayed. True story.
3 rounds for time:
15 power cleans (60-65% or 1RM)
I got out the calculator and determined that I should lift 105, as 107.5 is 65% of 165# — which is my 1RM full squat clean. If I recall correctly, 135# is my 1RM for power cleans; thus, I should’ve lifted 90#. I placed 2, 35# plates on the ends of the bar. Those of you who are good at math immediately know the error I made. More in a moment…
Just before the metcon was to begin,
The Coach Michael Kelley said, “You could hold a plate during the air squats if you want an extra challenge. Ten pounds for women and 25 for men.” I walked to the rack to get a 25# plate, pausing to stare at Lauren. Burt eventually got her attention, and she immediately knew what I was doing. She grabbed a 10# plate.
Coincidentally, Lauren and I were stationed across from and facing each other, and I can’t recall the last time this has happened. Perhaps unbeknownst to Lauren, she was my motivation today. Thanks, Lauren! (Where was Timmy?)
I set no goals. Not a single one. Uhm, who have I become?
The Coach Michael Kelley informed us that there was a 12-minute time limit. I thought, “I well, I try to complete in under 12 minutes.”
I attempted to complete the first round of power cleans unbroken, but failed at the 12th or 13th lift. The weight felt heavy, and I said to myself, “It’s just 105 pounds.” I did focus on not arching my back, and making sure the bar traveled up my legs and that I “popped” it off of my thighs (like my all-time-favorite coach, Jack, often reminded me to do). For the most part, I was successful. The first round of air squats holding the 25# plate were okay. I did, however, have to alternate holding the plate in front of my and holding it on my upper back. Lauren was a steady, air squatting machine. In fact, she didn’t put down the plate a single time. While I didn’t do so during the first round, I did for the remaining two. I glanced at the clock at the end of the first round, and it read 3:08. I determined that I’d probably be able to finish in under 10 minutes.
I completed the second round of power cleans in reps of 5, 4, 3, 2, & 1. I was attempting to finish with a round of 3 reps, but failed on the 15th power clean; thus the single rep. I yelled “Fu&k!” after the failed attempt. My apologies, 6amers. More in a moment.
The second round of air squats holding the plate were much, much more challenging. I completed in reps of 10, 15, 10, & 15, putting down the plate between sets of reps.
The last round of power cleans were a bitch, and I kept saying to myself, “I should’ve gone with 95 pounds, as 105 pounds is obviously too heavy.” I was attempting to finish with a round of 3 reps, but failed on the 15th power clean; thus the single rep yet again. I once again yelled “Fu&k!” after the failed attempt. My apologies once again, 6amers.
The Coach Michael Kelley positioned himself beside me during part of the last round of power cleans. He was watching, yet not saying a word. For whatever reason, this irked me. I glared at him, and I tell you that I would not have liked to be on the receiving end of that glare.
Lauren and I were neck and neck; beginning the last round of air squats at about the same time. She’s a beast in the best way imaginable. I powered through the last round in reps of 10, 10, 15, & 15.
Time = 9:04
It wasn’t until I was removing the weight from the bar that I realized that I had mistakenly lifted 115 instead of 105# for the power cleans. Stupid math.
I have bruises on my thighs. True story.